I am because You are

I am because You are -

in the sky,

in the sea,

in the sunrises and sunsets.

Everywhere I look, You are there -

Inescapable,

Unfathomable,

Beautiful.

I am because You are -

gracious,

patient,

loving,

You hold me by hand and carry me through - 

the joys and the tears,

the pains and successes, 

You are there.

I am because You are my Savior 

And I am -

at awe

in tears

and beyond grateful 

Thank You. 

I am here, because you are my God.

Undoubtedly, I am because You are.

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I wrote this poem after witnessing the first sunrise of the year. 

I remember how tears just started falling as the sun rose over the horizon. I looked back at my dad and he, too, was in tears. We stood there, at awe at such splendor, and all we can do is humbly raise our hands in worship.

I cannot even put to words what we felt. I just know that there was so much joy that I can’t even explain. I felt so loved - how can someone who created something so beautiful and perfect always put someone imperfect, stubborn and disobedient, like me, first? I was also reminded by this verse that always made my stomach flutter:

“Because I am God, your personal God…. I paid a huge price for you..That's how much you mean to me! That's how much I love you! I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you.” -Isaiah 43:2-4 (MSG)

It felt right sharing this post today. On this day, more than 2000 years ago, we were given a gift far more beautiful than the sunrise. More than 2000 years ago, He has traded everything just for you and me.

Thank you for savings us, Jesus. 

Truly, all that I am is because You are. 

Thank you, 2018

Life is a never-ending chain of changes and ups and downs. No matter how much we struggle to press the pause button, we realise that life isn't Netflix, that we can neither pause nor rewind. It just keeps on going - already challenging us for the next chapter - whether we're ready for it or now.

My 2018 ran like a jam packed season with no breathers and only cliff-enders. It was no feel-good season either. Instead, it was a year that made me – at the very least - sit on the edge of my seat for the most part.

No matter how crazy this year has been, 2018 made me see life as a series of seasons – a compilation of beautiful and inevitable phases and changes.

Just as we have winter, spring, summer and fall, life also has its seasons for growth and death, for falling in love and heartbreaks, and for open doors and goodbyes.

Whether we like it or not, each season serves a particular reason. Just as summer all year round will only cause draughts, too much rain would also hinder growth. We would need the right amount of summer and rain for something to actually bloom. In life, we may never see the reason as to why things happen when they need to happen and why things had to go as quickly as they came. But every experience is a lesson in itself and every moment is but a small piece to a bigger puzzle. Everything happening is handcrafted by a Painter who is about to develop a masterpiece.

No matter what you’re going through, know that just as seasons come and go, it’ll come to pass. What’s even more beautiful about any season is that the sun will always rise, no matter what. 

As we put an end to 2018, I hope that we look back at the year and see it as a wonderful experience which is on the works to developing to something even more beautiful. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve cried as much as I did this year. It was indeed a crazy emotional roller coaster ride. But despite the “bagyo” all year round, I can happily say that wherever I am now is pretty very sunny.

Trust me, it would get better and life is beautiful. I can’t wait for what 2019 has instore.

Thank u, next ;)

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens” – Ecclesiastes 3:1

Winning in Losing

In investing, there's such a term called "cut loss" where traders are advised to withdraw on a particular trade to minimize on losses before the situation goes from bad to worse. Despite the possibility of it becoming better, one has to deicide to cut loss to derail it from further spiraling downward and to prevent one from losing everything. The term is easily applicable in life and can take many different forms. People may see it as folding (for poker fans out there) while others may coin it as simple as quitting or even letting go. 

In the work place, it's easier to decide to cut loss especially when you have triggers or levels as to when to cut your losses. However, in life - when all circumstances and emotions take play -when what you're about to lose is a lot more intangible than money and when there is no real gauge as to when to give up – cutting losses becomes a bit more complicated.

Personally, I've always had a hard time letting go. I've grown up believing that if you try hard enough, something good will eventually come out. I've believed that despite all odds, quitting is never an option. However, throughout life, I've realized that life is less about fighting hard but more about fighting smart. Although it is important to fight, it is also largely important to choose your battles as not all battles can be won - neither are they worth all those scars.

Choosing to wean out opportunities – let alone people - is never an easy decision to make but a necessary one. We may have different reasons for letting go but more than anything, one should remember this important takeaway:

THERE IS WINNING IN LOSING.

What I like about the term 'cut loss' is that the concept is winning in itself. Despite realizing a loss, one has saved oneself from a far greater fall - that in itself is a capital W.

We may never understand why opportunities and people leave as quickly as they arrive, or why we have to experience whatever it is that we experience. Nonetheless, it is important to remember that every experience is a lesson in itself - and that is actually a win.

There were numerous instances where I've cried and battled with God on certain situations/people where He would tell me to let go, but I just wouldn’t. However, in the end, I had realized that I was saying no to the God who lost everything so that I could win. And so, all I can do is trust --

Trust that whatever has been lost would be replaced.

Trust that whatever seed that has been planted will never go in vain.

Trust that the God who holds your story perfectly is weaving in a beautiful new chapter just as He has weaved out an old one.

Trust that God is teaching you to let go of something that so that He can put some space for something even better.

Here's an unconventional advice: Quit. Let go. Cut loss. It’s OK.

You would never know what more God has in store for you if you didn't.

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

A Year Later

August 10, 2016.

A year ago today, I decided to embark in an adventure in the corporate world. People who know me personally know that this is a far-fetched, bizarre idea. Believe it or not, it was - even for me!

I have imagined myself in the news room, in the ballet studio, in the courtroom, in a charitable institution, in the senate, and even - believe it or not - in space (seriously). But, never, have I - in my whole twenty one years of existence -  imagined myself in a financial institution.

While one can be quick to judge and tell me that quitting a job is as easy as counting to three, things are not as easy as that. The management program that was offered to me was great - a year's worth of training with benefits - BUT it had a two year bond that I had to meet.

Can you just imagine the questions running in my head?

• Do I spend three years of my life in a career that I have no idea of? 
• Do I let go of all my dreams of becoming a host, a broadcaster, an action star (LOL)?
• Will I be just wasting my time?
• Why am I even doing this to my life?

I was scared and at that moment, my brain was just screaming one thing: RUN. AWAY. NOW.

Although I had multiple avenues to drop and pursue something else, I didn't. I took this job because of one reason - God told me so.

Before anything else, to be clear, this was not a Moses and the burning bush moment where God, out of nowhere, says "Bea, take the job!". It was, instead, just a still quiet nudging in my heart that has constantly telling me to take the job and was supported with verses too.

Yes, it may seem as though I made one big decision based on an inkling, but I guess that's how faith works right? It's being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

It wasn't all that easy, however. Of course, being human, I didn't follow right away. I fought battled with God. I thought, "all these had to be a mistake right?". My mind was reasoning out while my heart was telling me another thing. In fact, if you look at it really, none of it made sense. I was a Political Science graduate, who was very much inclined to the arts and wants to get into the media industry. There's nothing that screams banking in that definition. I didn't even have accounting subjects in college!

Believe me, I fought God up until the very last minute. But I took it and had one of the most wonderful and fruitful years of my life. I got to meet people and learn more than what I could have learned in a regular job. I had so much peace and I was so happy.

With all these, three things I've learned:

1. With God, things may not make sense,
2. But His plans and timing are always perfect.
3. So when He tells you to do something, take faith because His grace would follow.

So if there's this strong voice in your heart, pray about it and act.

This day last year, I was more than confused.

A year later.

No regrets.

No second thoughts.

Just pure happiness because I know that I'm where He wants me to be and I can't wait for whatever's in store.

These people are the best. Thank you, ODP 7!

I am for the Philippines

May 9, 2016.

Some dates are more special than others. Historically, in the 9th of May, oldest diplomatic ties were made and countries were liberated. It, too, is the birth date of my very handsome father (Naks, Happy Birthday, Father Martin!). Truly, this date can be important to some while to another, it may be just another normal day. 

May 9, 2016, however, is something important for every Filipino. It is date where Filipinos can make a difference. It a day that could shape the next 6 years of our lives. Well hello Election Day!

I've always been fond of politics. Even before I was a teenager, I remember being able to tell different Philippine Senatoriables and their respective parties. Back then, I was so hopeful that our leaders could instill change. I was hopeful that our leaders can alleviate the state of Filipinos. I won't lie, in spite of all the corruption and the numerous disappointments in our government, I still have that tinge of hope that our leaders can deliver a better country.

This year's elections is the first time that I'd get to exercise my right to vote and I always thought that there's such great pride on being able to make a difference for our country. Oh what great right and responsibility it is to hold the power to be able to elect the next set of leaders that could make a nation great.

Much to my disappointment, I found this year's elections not appealing at all. It was, in fact, appalling. It was just a pain to watch. 

Throughout the months leading to elections, I've seen people fight over different candidates. Friendships have been broken. Relationships within families have been scarred. Heck, I've seen a fellow Filipino wish death and all other terrible things to another.

Curses instead of discourses. Dirt instead of platforms. Bickerers instead of statesmen (And no, I'm not referring to just one candidate). People fought and there were so many casualties. As a result, we became a divided nation.

My heart cries for this country. What happened to us? Have we gotten that low? 

I'm not going to be a hypocrite about any of this. I admit that sometimes a lot of times, I, too, found myself forcing my views on others. I have candidates whom I just feel strongly about and those that just makes my blood boil (Hey, I'm only human too).

However, despite this, I look back and question, what are we really fighting about? Are we not just fighting for the same country? Do we not just want the same outcome for our country?

It's time to stop with all these petty fights. Transcend beyond the candidate and stand for our country. In the end, we are a nation with one goal: a better Philippines. And this we can do because I believe that God is sovereign over our nation. All these leaders have one denominator in common - they're human and they're bound to make mistakes. So we put our hope on the One who can. In this kind of situation all we can do is pray - pray that God will anoint the right leaders into place and pray for a unification for our country. 

This elections will pass just as all these leaders will pass. But we, as a nation, cannot move forward divided.

I am Bea, I am not for Miriam nor for Duterte, not Mar nor Poe not Binay, I am for the Philippines.

Happy Voting everyone! God bless the Philippines!

Go out and vote!